So I Caved....10dpiui

BFN....still early. Tests aren't totally accurate this early, but I ended having 5 tests versus the 3 I thought I had and figured what the heck. Some people get BFP that early...although I don't think I'll be getting one. Anyway the BFN came up in like 2 secs.....

I am bummed, but of course will test a few more times before I am totally sure it is truly a BFN as I am expecting.

Sadly, as little hope as I had, I still wish it wasn't a BFN. If I got a BFP then Christmas would be a whole lot easier, without.....feeling like I am going to be in a funk through all the friend and family gtgs since revolve around babies and pg people and I am just sad I can't join the club.

Not totally out of hope, but I will generally be enjoying our All-Inclusive resort we are headed to this weekend. We SO need a break from all this crap and when we return, back on the IF merry go round. SIGH!!

CD 9 Update

Let's see, I went in for monitoring this morning and everything looks great. I had 2 follies---1 at 16 and 1 at 21. So I am triggering tonight. I am pretty excited about that; although I had hoped to get to use the Follistim as well, but at least we are using the Ovidrel. Our IUI will be Monday morning....and then the dreaded 2ww. At least I have vacation thrown in this 2ww to make the time go faster.

I sure would like to have a Christmas surprise for our families.....but I don't know if it will happen. We'll see.

20th Month

Well, this marks our 20 month of attempting to conceive a little Holmes' baby. This makes me terribly sad. I so though we'd have a 1 year old by this time in our lives and instead I haven't even gotten pg yet. Oh, well. So it goes. There is no point in dwelling on what isn't, but we can hope for what will be.

Yesterday was my first dose of clomid at 25mg. I had to cut the pill in half, which results in a lot of little pieces, but I am sure it is fine. I hope I respond well to the 25mg. I am a little worried about it, but the 50 was too much, so I am optimistic we'll get a perfect cycle time around. CROSSING FINGERS. I go back on Saturday for my CD9 u/s and we'll know more then when they check the follicle growth. I just want to be able to take the follistim and ovidrel and IUI. Come on.......I have 4 more doses of Clomid so we'll see. I am hoping for 2 good mature follies.......

Didn't Go So Well

:(

Well, the plan did not go well. So I am pretty much moving on emotionally to the next cycle. I never should have agreed to not IUIing. It just never works out the way we hope and then we are both upset. I have about a 2% hope that something good will come out of this month, so that isn't much.

I am a little worried next month won't work out timing wise with our mini vacation, but I counted days and we may just be able to squeeze it all in.....but there would be the small chance we wouldn't. I hate to waist the meds, so we'll see when CD1 is. That will be a huge deciding factor.

It was a tough weekend emotionally, but a good one in that I FINALLY finished my wedding scrapbook. PHEW, 3.5 years later. :)

Positive OPK

Yesterday was very stressful on the IF front.

My nurse called to check in and she asked about my OPKs. Of course we were playing phone tag so that doesn't help, but she said any change in the OPK is considered a positive (for some reason). Well, I'd been waiting for a positive. Monday no line, Tuesday the faintest line ever, Wed a little darker, but not positive. Anyway the nurse is like you need to come in for IUI tomorrow and Friday. Well, i got caught up and a little freaked out and scheduled IUIs.

Once I got home I had to try and explain this to DH and whoa, that wasn't fun. He was good with it, but just as confused as I was. After much talking we decided to go back to TI for this month. We just hate to use up a IUI on an unoptimal month.

This morning, I do an OPK, because I'd like a + and there it is. So I feel good about trying on our own for this cycle. I called nurse this morning and let her know. Now we just need to do a lot of BDing.....and that isn't too fun when the pressure is on.

Crossing fingers for good news in 2 weeks, but I am not super optimistic, but I do think our next medicated cycle could be great. We'll reduce my clomid and hopefully get to stim and trigger. YAY!!

CD9 and CD11 Ultrasound and Bloodwork Results

Let's start with CD9---

I went in on Friday for ultrasound and bloodwork to see how the Clomid worked and to also determine if I needed the Follistim. While I was there, the RE said she didn't think I'd need the Follisitm, but they'd call with results and also that my lining was thin and I'd probably need to supplement my Estrogen (a common side effect of the Clomid). So I went home to wait for a phone call--meantime, we got our new refrigerator and it is AWESOME!!! So in the afternoon, my nurse calls with all the results----I don't need the Follistim, but I also have a large number of follies (no specifics). She told me I should come back on Sunday for another monitoring session and that we were not to have intercourse.......

So onto CD11---
My appointment was at 8:15. I get up a few minutes early and head out only to discover, my alarm clock decided yesterday was the DST change, which it usually is, but not this year and I so I missed my appointment. They close at 9am and that is when I got there. THANKFULLY, I was able to call and get in at the Rockville office and that worked out well since my RE was there and we had to do some talking about what to do this cycle.

So I had my u/s and Dr. Saffan told me that on CD9 I basically had 4 follicles that were the same size. On the u/s on Sunday, there was:
1 follicle at 19mm
2 follicles at 16 mm
and a bunch of smaller ones

A mature follicle is 18mm or over. Basically it looks like I could have 3, since the follies will keep growing. And 3 follies can equal 3 babies. Not the ideal number. So, we easily decide no trigger shot which would prompt the follies to grow and probably ovulate. After much discussion, we decide to let me ovulate naturally which will probably result in only one or two eggs releasing and then do either IUI or timed intercourse. RE was good with both options and we also were able to decide next cycle I will only do 25mg of Clomid and hope for 1-2 EXCELLENT follies and slightly better timing.

Andrew and I talked about our options and decided on just doing TI this month. So we'll see. Yesterday my lutenizing hormone was still very low, so we'll see how the week progresses. I may go back in on Wed morning for another monitoring session. :)

Getting Eager for what is next!!

Tonight will be my last dose of Clomid and I am antsy to see where we are on Friday!!! I am optimistic the boost from the meds should help our chances this month. Granted the odds are still not huge, but they are way better than they have been in a LONG time.

Come on BFP!!!!!!!! Come on BFP!!!!! We want a little Holmes' baby!!!

Update from Saturday's Monitoring Appt

Let's see. All went well. It was all pretty basic. Blood work and ultrasound. Then wait for a call for the all clear to start meds.

So the ultrasound showed 7 follicles on both sides. I think that is a good number. I think the last ultrasound in May/June showed 9 on one and 6 on the other, so I think that is an average start count. Now we just want them to GROW--but not all of them.

In the afternoon on Saturday, I got the green light to start Clomid. I've take two doses and have three more to go. Then I go back on Friday for another round of blood work and ultrasound.

So far, I haven't had any bad side effects from the Clomid and many people claim it can be very bad. I am only on 50mg and that is the lowest dose, so that may have something to do with it. But I am glad none the less. This time next week we could be doing the IUI and in wait mode. Very exciting.